Were life begins and love never ends
by wereallmadhere44
Summary: The Halstead family had a bumpy road on their journey, but always had each others backs.
1. Chapter 1

Were life begins and love never ends.

_Hi! I'm new here, finally got enough courage to sign up and post. I love fluff and Linstead family, so here i am trying. English is not my first language though._

Erin pov.

Every year I realise how much I hate winter. Chicago style winter even more. But the sight of my boys chasing each other, and mainly their dad, with giant snowballs, melts my heart. And my frozen toes too.

My poor little tough girl, desperate to keep up with her brothers, freezing her ass off. While our smallest secret, I think it's a girl, is still warm and safe inside my belly.

If you told me seven years ago that I would marry my partner, move to a small townhouse with a yard and end up with four kids, I probably laughed my eyeballs out. But I would not trade it for the world. They are my everything.

Sure, I was scared as hell when I found out I was pregnant. And yeah... I kind off freaked out when the doctor told us 'Congrats! You are expecting twins!', but with Jay still having my back after al those years, I can take down every criminal, annoying school mom or Voights neighbors who's giant dog runs over my kids.

'Mommy look!' Hazel yells from Jay's shoulders. Damn, my baby girl is growing up so fast. By the time the baby comes she will be three.

'We turned Liam into Olaf!'

'Not every snowman is called Olaf, Haze,' Jay grins.

'I think they are.' Yep, she is definitely ours.

'It's not fair, we can't reach Hazel!' My five-year old Liam whines.

'You seriously wanted to beat a two-year old in a snowballfight Liam? I thought I taught you better.' My husband, a.k.a. Best dad ever.

'No, but with her on your shoulders I might hit her when i'm trying to get you.' Liam is just as badass as his dad. His twin brother on the other hand, while both the spitting image of Jay, would not hurt a fly. Noah is definitely a mommy's boy.

'Can we built a real snowman, dad?' Noah asks.

'Of course we can!'

'Yes, a weally big one!' Hazel smiles with her arms wide open. 'Can Mommy help too?'

'Mommy hates snow,' Liam laughs.

'Why?' Someday her why-fase stops, we hope.

'Because it's cold,' Noah answers.

'Okay,' clearly logical enough for my baby, as they start building. An hour later I pull the wet ski suits of my kids, lift them in their warm pj's and admire their giant snowman in our backyard while they snuggle up against me.

'Who wants hot chocolate?' Jay asks, carrying a tray with five warm mugs, causing all four of us screaming 'me!' at the same time.

'And can we watch Frozen Mommy?' I lost count how many times we've seen that movie.

'Sure munchkin, ask one of your brothers to put it on.'

'I'm on it,' Noah says.

While watching Frozen I look at Jay.

'I was to tired to think of anything for dinner, so I ordered in pizza,' I confess. His hand immediatly caressing my cheek.

'Still not feeling better?' My overprotective husband asks. During every pregnancy Jay turned into overprotective hubby 2.0, this time included.

'Just tired babe, nothing major.' He smiles, like i'm the stubborn one...

'Sure. When do we tell them? You're showing big time, and almost halfway through.'

'Tell them what?' Liam asks. Jay grins like an idiot.

'Can you pause the movie for a moment No?' I ask my son. He immediatly responses with putting the movie on hold, causing his sister to sit up.

'Noah!'

'Haze, we can watch the rest later. Mommy and daddy want to tell you guys something.' I tell my Frozen-loving headstrong two-year old.

'Is grandpa comming over?!' She enthusiasticly asks.

'No, grandpa will take you to the Zoo tomorrow, because Mommy and I have to go to the doctors.

'Why?' Noah immediatly terrified, thinking back to almost a year ago when Jay was shot.

'Because Mommy has another baby in her belly No,' I spit out directly to comfort him.

'You guys are getting another brother or sister!' Jay says, with still that idiotic dorky smile on his face. God, I love him so much.

Noah's worried face immediatly turns into the same dorky smile as his dad. 'Really!'

'Really!'

Two little hands are shoving up my sweater, and I feel a cold nose and lips against my belly.

'Hi baby!' Hazel says happilly, and gives me a questioning look. 'You are not as big as aunt Kim.' Refering to Burgess, who just gave birth to her seccond son four months ago.

'That's because our baby has to grow inside my belly for a while Bug.'

'When will she get here?'

'She?' Jay asks. 'We don't know yet if it's a boy or a girl, Haze. We'll hopefully find out tomorrow.'

'I want a girl baby,' Hazel answers. 'We can call her Elsa!'

'And what if it's a little baby brother?' Jay asks her.

'Olaf, or Sven.' She says without hesitation, causing her big brothers rolling of our couch laughing.

'Well Haze,' I try to tell without laughing. 'I don't think we're naming your sibling Elsa, Olaf or Sven.'

'O,' a little silence falls. 'But I want a sister, I don't want to be the only girl.' There she had a point. All of our friends had boys. Ruzek and Burgess had two, Casey and Dawson had three boys running around, Severide and his ex have a boy who the're sharing custody over and even Atwater and his girlfriend had a kid, witch to Hazels annoyance also turned out to be a boy.

'We'll find out tomorrow sweetheart,' I said while lifting my girl on my lap.

'Will you tell us mommy?' Liam asks.

'Of course we will tell you!'

Noah smiles. 'I also want a sister, for Hazel. So she can have a best friend too, just like me and Liam.' Tears well up in my eyes. Everyone will say it about their children, but mine are the cutest for sure.

'Don't cry Mommy,' Liam says. 'We like a brother too.'

'That's not why I'm crying squirt. I have happy tears because you guys are so cute, and I love you so much.' My boys look confused, and I see my husbands idiotic grin reappear.

'The baby is messing with mommy's feelings guys, called hormones, she will cry a lot about nothing upcomming months,' he winks at me.

'Hey, you can't mess with a pregnant woman!' I call in defense, but knowing he is right. My other two pregnancies I was an emotional wreck. I even cried over the weather forecast. That's why Voight banned me out of the district last times.

I received a gentle kiss. ' I won't babe, I won't.' The bell rang, what made Jay stand up. 'Pizzatime!' He made a beeline to our frontdoor to collect them.

'Go and wash your hands, my incredible snowman builders.' While my kids ran to the kitchen I looked to their outside creation. Maybe this winter wasn't so bad after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! Thanks for all the nice comments! Here's another one!**

Jay pov.

'Brynn,' says Erin with a smile.

We just got back from the park. I putted Hazel down for her nap, while our boys were playing soccer in the garden. I lift my pregnant wife on the counter and look into her sparkling eyes.

'Brynn... I love it! Where did you find it?' I ask carefully. For weeks we're trying to find a name we both like for our little girl. Ever since the doctor confirmed Erin's feeling it was a girl, we struggeled to find a decent name.

After we arrived home from our appointment, we told our kids they would get a sister in a couple of months. They were over the moon, and secretly so was I. Don't get me wrong, I love my boys, but the suspect of another little Erin running around made my heart swell.

Then we had to convince Hazel, that we were serious about the fact not naming her sister Elsa. Or Anna. Or Rapunsel.

The weeks after that 'the list' came into our lives. Every name one of us really considered, was put on it. But we couldn't agree on one of our choises.

Naming the other three was literally done in five minutes. With the boys we both liked the same three names. But naming your eldest kids Benjamin, we both found weird, so William and Noah stayed on the list, Benjamin was put on hold for 'maybe in the future'. Just a week before Erin went into labor, she proposed making William into Liam, so both boysnames were even, and I agreed.

When we heard our third child would be a girl, the decision was made within a minute. The night we decided on having kids Erin told me, after several round of lovemaking, that she would liked to name a future daughter Hazel.

When she was little her kindergarten teacher Rachel and Erin had a special bond. Rachel called the child protection services multiple times, but somehow Bunny got away with the charges. So Rachel gave Erin food for her and her brother, donated her kids old clothes and most important to Erin; she got a beautiful doll, she named after the old owner Rachel's daughter Hazel. Erin had spend hours playing with the doll and fantasising about when she was old enough to have her own family, and have her own daughter Hazel, were she would take care of better than her own mom. To Erin's sadness her mother found out about her bond with Rachel, and switched her to another school. Rachel moved out of Chicago not much later and sadly Erin was on her own again.

So, when our ultrasound told the doctor it was a girl, my first reaction was 'Hazel', and Erin bursted into tears.

But for baby girl two we had several discussions. By two of them I almost ended up sleeping on the couch because my very hormonal wife couldn't handle the fact I hated the name she proposed. She thought she really liked the name Bella, wich in my opinion is a dogs name. After she calmed down she apologised and admitted it was the hormones talking, she did not even like the name. She just had watched Twilight...

The next evening we were watching the Hunger Games, and I joked that 'if we were doing movie names, I really like Katniss'. And Erin's hormones did not liked me very much at that moment, as she stormed out the living room and crashed sobbing on our bed. My big mouth should have known better... It took me two hours to convince her to let me into our room.

So when we just got back from the park, and Erin told me she'd heard a name she liked I prepared myself for any scenario. Except the one where I really liked the name, so I was a little stunned and hoped she meant what she said.

'Last night I couldn't sleep because of your ballet dancing daughter in my stomach.'

'My daughter? I thought you were there too the night she was conceived.' My God, that night... My toughts drifted off for a second to the night our kids where at Voights for a sleepover, and we had no power thanks to a giant snowstorm.

'As I was saying,' Erin ignoring my comment. 'When your daughter kept me awake, I went downstairs to drink something and watched tv for a brief moment. I saw the last minutes of a documentary about a girls group home in Philadelphia. They filmed a social worker playing with some little girls and she yelled to one of them 'catch it Brynn!' and this adorable little girl caught it with a huge smile on her face. Since then I can't get the name out of my head.'

'I really like it babe,' I kissed her. 'Or like Hazel would say I weally weally weally wike it.' I covered her belly with my hands.

'So what do you think, little one?' Our daughter immediatly responded with a firm kick.

'I think Brynn agrees,' Erin answered with happy tears in her eyes.

'Well Brynn, then it's our secret for the upcomming weeks,' I wispered to my wifes stomach. And after that I kissed her belly, and then her lips properly until the tears had dried.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you for all the kind reviews! Sorry I cant use 'full quotes', every time I use more then one, my computer automaticly makes 300 of them...**_

Erin pov.

Last few weeks were pretty hectic.

First our boys turned six. Still can't believe how fast they are growing up. It really seemed like yesterday when we got to take them home from the hospital...

I went into labor three weeks early, what, according to doctor McKinley, was completly normal for twins. Thirty-two hellish hours later our boys arrived, only ten minutes apart, and healty as can be. All the pain and struggles to even get pregnant forgotten.

Two weeks before we got married, a small bust went the wrong way. Jay got hit to his head with a giant iron tube, was unconsious for several hours and woke up to a heavy concussion. But he also woke up to the news that I was stabbed twice just below my vest, what damaged my intestines, lost a lot of blood and they had to remove one of my ovaries.

Yes, I was glad I survived, and got to marry the perfect guy after postponing our wedding three months. But our weddingnight we decided to give our wish to get a big family a try, and that was easier said then done. After seven months of trying, I got to see a vertility specialist. She told us our chances to get pregnant on our own were really small. Of course I knew with only one ovary left, it wouldn't get any easier. But what we didn't know, was that my surgeries left a giant amount of scar tissue around my other ovary. We got two options; surgery to try to remove the scar tissue what would be another big surgery and recovertime, or the less invasive option of IVF.

I chose the last option, with Jay's support. The first round sadly didn't work, but the seccond time trying, they placed back two embryo's, did work! At the end of the road we would have fraternal twins... That's what supposed to happen, but didn't. After five weeks, cramps started while working. Jay and I spend an emotional hour in the ladiesroom, were we thought we lost our babies. Jay made me go to doctor McKinley the next day, just to be sure, where we got one of the biggest shocks of our lives. I was still pregnant! Only one of the two embryo's had died.

Jay, and Hank too, forced me to bedrest until our next appointment three weeks later. Where the ultrasound showed us we were still expecting twins, but identical ones. Our miracle turned out to be two miracles. Happiness kicked in, fear came after that. Could the two of us pull this challenge off? But after two days hospital, we took them home, and nothing had ever felt more natural then being with the four of us. Sure, there where many days of complete exhaustion and lots of sleep deprivation, but with help from our family and friends, we managed it through the first two years.

Just after our boys turned two, Jay's dad died. Although their bond wasn't that great, Jay was more emotional about it then he thought he would be. I caught him multiple times staring at our sleeping little ones in the middle of the night. On one of those nights we talked for hours. Jay's the only one I really can talk with. We are certainly not perfect, but we are perfect for each other.

We decided to try for a third addition to our little family, but this time the 'easy' option wasn't an option anymore. A cyst had setteled on my ovary, so if we wanted to try, i had to go through surgery to remove it, and remove the scar tissue right away was the best option to add in the mix. We talked about it and decided to go for it.

Jay took care of literally everything, and got me back on my feet in no time. Just one appointment to clear me going back to work surprised us all.

I convinced Jay he didn't have to come with, and I would stop by the district after I was cleared. Jay took the boys to daycare on his way to the station, while I got tested at doctor McKinleys office. I had to wait for the results in the waiting area, and when they turned out to be okay the nurse would sign me off. But doctor McKinley called me back inside her room.

'Erin, can you come back inside for a moment?' Scared as hell I followed her into her office and took a seat.

'We got your test results back, but some Numbers turned out to be very odd. So we tested something else, what confirmed my suspicions,' she told me. I didn't know what to think.

'Erin, you are allready pregnant,' she smiled.

'What?!' I started to cry. She told us it probably took months to concieve, if it would work at all.

'But...,' I couldn't find the words.

'I know,' she smiled. 'I would like to perform an ultrasound to determine your progress in your pregnancy. I think it's in between three to five weeks. Would you like to call your husband, to see if he can join you?' I could only nod. She left me alone while I called Jay.

'Babe, what is taking you so long?' I started crying again after hearing his concerned voice.

'Erin?!'

'Can... You... Come...?' I managed to get out. Surely freaking him out.

'I'm on my way. Are you still at the hospital?'

'Yes,' I sobbed in his ear.

'Give me ten minutes!' And with that he was on his way, breaking every traffic law, and ran into the waiting room in full panic mode.

'Can you direct me to my wife?' I heard him say in the hallway.

'Sir, calm down. Who is your wife?' The poor receptionist asked him. Doctor McKinley stepped out.

'Mister Halstead, you can follow me in here.' Jay stormed in and took me in his arms. Where I was still to the point of instant crying. Jay must have thought I was going to die.

'Erin,' he took my face between his hands. 'Tell me.' A tear fell out the corner of his eye. Doctor McKinley putted an end to his misery.

'Jay, there is only good news. Erin's pregnant. You guys are expecting another little one. Congratulations!' His shoulders dropped immediately four inches as he held on to me for dear life.

'My God babe, you scared me to death!'

'I love you,' was the first full sentence I could spit out.

'And I love you even more.'

'So, you want to try to get a look of your new miracle?' McKinley asked. And half an hour later we walked out with a picture in hand of a small blob, who turned out to Hazel eight months later. Three weeks and three days after her brothers third birthday.

Yesterday she turned three. What made the fourth weekend of party's in a row. First our big boys, then Burgess and Ruzek finally got married. The next weekend our friends threw us a babyshower, and Hazel's princessparty ended our streak. In complete exhaustion I crashed in bed five minutes after our kids bedtime, with Jay following my example.

'Can you please keep her in as long as possible? I would like some weekends of sleep until Brynn arrives,' Jay moaned. I decided to tease him a bit.

'Well I don't know for how long I can manage that babe. I think i'm having contractions...' He flew up right away.

'O god, that is five weeks early. Call Hank, i'm bringing you to the hospital right away!' He jumped out of bed to get his pants.

'Jay...'

'Are you okay babe? Keep breathing and stuff!' I laughed.

'Babe, I was joking. There are no contractions.' His body relaxed as he threw his cardigan to my head.

'That's not funny! You scared me to death!' He took his pants off again and laid down besides me starting to tickle me.

'You know you got your shirt on backwards?' He laughed.

'I don't care.'

'You were kind off adorable in panic mode.' I kissed him. 'Sorry for scaring you.'

'I know a few ways to make it up to me...' I didn't want to turn him down, but I was way too tired to even think about sex. But he broke my thoughts.

'But not now. I like to sleep a few days first and dream about a few weekends off.' I caress his cheek.

'I"ll can try to keep her in untill Christmas.'

'No, a few weeks would be perfect. I can't wait to hold her,' he says while holding my stomach protective in his arms.

'Me neither.' And with that thought we both fell into a peacefull slumber.


	4. Chapter 4

Jay pov.

'Erin... Babe, wake up. Dinner is ready.' God, she looks so adorable sleeping on our couch.

'Er... I made chicken parmesan,' I pause a little while. 'And I got you oreo ice cream!' Her eyes jump open.

'Where are the kids?' She yawnes.

'Brought them too Hank an hour ago for their sleepover, remember?'

'Why didn't you wake me? I didn't kiss them goodnight!' She pouts, while I have to hide my grin.

'Believe me, we tried. They kissed you goodnight though.' My sleeping beauty slept through three rounds of kisses, tickles and singing. This whole pregnancy she was so goddamn tired from beginning till end. Even when we didn't knew she was pregnant yet.

**_Seven months earlier._**

'Noah Halstead speaking,' I hear from our living room. Footsteps comming closer.

'Daddy, it's aunty Kim!' He says smiling while handing me my cell.

'Thanks No.' He runs back to the tv.

'Hi Kim, whats up?'

'Jay! I couldn't reach Erin, so I tried you.'

'Erin's asleep with Haze. I think they are all getting this stomach flu thing from last week again. The boys aren't to happy as well.'

'Oh...' I hear her sigh. 'I don't think it's the stomach flu, Jay.'

'Because?' Last week was literally hell. The twins came home from school with a stomach bug, and within a day Hazel and Erin caught it too. So Voight gave me a few days off to take care of them. Liam and Hazel got over it pretty fast, Noah took two days longer, but Erin took it pretty bad, and still wasn't feeling very well. So the idea of everything starting over again... No thanks!

'Remember Adam's nephew Brandon last week?' Kim continued.

Remember? Hell yeah, how to forget Ruzeks hyper, five year old nephew, who broke two coffeecups and a vase within ten minutes after arrival in the Ruzek household last weekend.

'Yes, I remember.'

'Apperently he was in the first contagious stage of having the chicken pox...'

'Seriously!' This was not my ideal scenario for our free weekend.

'Yes, Lucas is allready developping spots, i don't think Oliver will, but Adam is too,' she secretly laughed.

'What? Adam never had chicken pox as a child?' I tried not to laugh.

'Nope, he just called his mother to confirm.'

'Please send pictures when he looks ridiculous! I'll go and check up on my kids.'

'I'm so sorry Jay, if your kids got it at our barbecue.'

'No worries. They better get it young, then when the're adults. Timing could be better after last week, and with Erin still not feeling better, but we'll manage. Good luck with your boys!'

'Thanks! I'm calling Kevin and Gabby as well. And maybe give Voight a heads up.' O lord, Voight's going to be so mad, if only Olinski and Antonio are showing up monday.

'I'll ask Erin to do that for you,' I offer.

'Thanks Jay!' And with that she ends our talk and i'm off to the living to check our boys, who are laying lazily on the couch, instead of running around in our yard. I discover some spots on both of my guys right away. Great...

'Can you pull up your shirt Liam?' He reveals his tummy, also showing a few spots.

'Don't touch it daddy, it itches!' He whines.

'I'm sorry buddy, but I think you all have got the chicken pox.' I check both temperatures. Both no signs of a fever.

'I'm going to check up on your sis and mom. Please don't scratch munchkins, it will only make it worse.'

I spot Erin in our bed, with Hazel on top of her. They look so adorable sleeping together. As quiet and softly as possible I lift my daughters pyjama shirt, to discover some more spots on her back. Erin stirs, while I try to take Hazel's temperature. She's a little feverish.

'How is she?' She whisperes.

'Thanks to Ruzeks nephew, all kids are having chicken pox.'

'What?'

'Brandon clearly had chicken pox last weekend. Kim just called, Lucas is having it, Oliver is to small I guess, but Adam hit the jackpot, and all three of our kids are just as lucky. So big chance the Casey boys are having it too, and I guess Mason as well.' Refering to Atwater's son.

'Damnit,' Erin sighs. 'Another week of not working.'

'Er, did you had the chicken pox as a child?' I ask carefully.

'Of course, I was eight. Still have a scar on my shoulder from it.'

'Okay, how are you feeling?' Allready knowing her answer, because she's looking sheetwhite and like she hasn't slept in days.

'Not that great either.' I lift Hazel carefully from her chest and bring her to her own bed, while hearing Erin running too the bathroom and puking her guts out for the third time today. Hazel still sleeping as a rock, I kiss her forehead and check up on my wife.

'Oh babe, if you're not getting better by tomorrow i'm calling the doctors.

'It's just that stomach bug the rest of Chicago has and no one gets rid off easily. Kim said Roy from gangs had it for two weeks, and Platt for almost three.'

'I don't care about anyone else, but I do care about you getting better. So tomorrow it is.'

'Tomorrow is sunday babe.' Well, she clearly hasn't lost her brightness.

'Monday morning then.' I help her stand up. 'You need anything babe? I'm going to stop by the farmacy to get something for those itching pox.'

'No, i'll keep the boys company.'

By the time it was friday all three of our kids were up and running again, not completly spot-free, but they appeared not to be bothered by them anymore. But Erin on the other hand, after the beginning of the week being better, got worse during the night. I finally convinced her to get an appointment at the doctors office for that morning. While she went I got the boys in school on time, and took Hazel home, because daycare did not allow kids with chicken pox, even though she wasn't contagious anymore.

Haze fell asleep while watching Frozen, so I took her upstairs to her own bed. The front door was slammed shut.

'Jay!' I heard my wife call, and got down the stairs.

'Jay! Where are you?!' I hoped she didn't wake our girl.

'Babe, Haze is asleep, what's wrong?' I spoke silently. Then I saw her standing in the hallway. Crying. What in the world made Erin Lindsay, Halstead excuse me, cry?

'Er...?' She crushed against my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her. 'What's up my love?' She smiled through her tears. Woman can be so confusing!

'Jay...' She wispered. 'We are having another baby!' Her smile couldn't be bigger, tears kept streaming.

'We what?' I was so confused. Last year the doctor told us the chances of having another baby were so small without medical help, we shouldn't count on it to ever happen. Even though Erin wanted another one, she didn't wanted to go through surgery or ivf again. So we agreed our family was great as it was now, and we would enjoy as much time together as possible.

'I am pregnant!' I kissed her intensly.

'Babe, that is the best news ever! But how?'

'Apperently the chances weren't thát small,' she smiled, while I lifted her in my arms and spun her around.

'Another miracle baby.' And with that comment she started crying again. Oh great, welcome back hormones!

'I love you Er!'

'I love you too!'

Her tiredness was explained. Unfortunately for Erin it wouldn't go away for her entire pregnancy.

With the twins she had full time morning sickness for almost five months. Wich was horrible, also to watch. When that was over the cravings started. The most discusting combinations, and mostly during the night. And me, as hopeless supporting husband, prepared it all for her in the middle of the night.

With Hazel Erin was full of energy. Too much energy. And luckilly for me, her only craving was sex. Every spare moment she jumped on me like a horny teenager. But no complaining from my side.

This time Erin glowed, just like with the first two pregnancies, only Brynn sucked all the energy out of her.

I helped her up with her huge babybump.

'It smells great babe.'

'I know, I made it.'

She lowered herself on a chair with a deep sigh.

'I can't wait for her to be here. I'm kind of done being pregnant.' She was four days passed her due date.

'I know my love. Just a few more days.' We ate in a comfortable silence and after we both were done I cleaned up the table and kitchen.

I caught Erin standing in front of the window, staring to the setting sun, and pulled her into a hug. Erin broke the silence after a while.

'Babe... I think my water just broke.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all those sweet reviews and messages! Sorry that updating took so long. I'm currently on tour with my company, and most of the places suck at WiFi. Here is my newest; Brynn is joining the family!**

"Please, let this delivery be normal," I whisper. Apperently too loud, because Jay answers me.

"Babe, it's going to be fine. I got your bag, the baby bag, car seat and the kids are allready at Hank's. Plus no twins or giant traffic jams this time, so we have you save in the hospital in twenty minutes." Yup, he is almost Superman. If he only could go through childbirth for me too, he really would be Superman.

"I know. It's just... When we come back from the hospital, we're with six."

"Well, we knew that for almost eight months..." Dork...

"Can we...?" He drops everything too the floor and takes me in his arms.

"You can do this Erin, we can do this. I got your back, remember?"

I smile, how could I ever forget.

The boys where three weeks too early. My water broke in the middle of the night, after a day with Jay bingewatching Friends because I wasn't feeling too well. The pain in my back all day appeared to be contractions. How was I supposed too know?! I saw the movies, read the stories, but never had the real experience myself.

I freaked out completly when Jay brought me to the hospital at four am., and doctor McKinley told us we would be parents in a few hours. It was three weeks before my due date, they weren't ready to be born. Doctor McKinley insured me they would be okay, and did everything to make me comfortable. And Jay... Never left my side for a second. Thirty-two hours long.

Hazel was almost born on the freaking highway. My water broke during lunchtime with my boys. I called Jay immediatly, who informed Hank and both jumped in their cars, to get stuck in traffic for five hours, because off a giant accident...

My boys didn't understand why their mommy was acting so weird and nervous. Or why daddy and grandpa where arriving with lights and sirens on their cars. Or why Mommy and daddy immediatly left after daddy just got home, so they decided to cry, to make it a lot easier for my hormonal self.

I had tried to explain them whole afternoon what was going to happen, leaving the juicy details out, not knowing it would take them that long to arrive home. While contractions rushed through my body every three bloody minutes.

So Jay picked my crying self up, got me in the car and despite the sirens he still had on, we got stuck for almost two hours.

"Jay, I don't know how much longer I can take this!"

"I'm almost through," he said in full panic mode. "Just keep her in a few more minutes!"

"How?! It hurts like hell you know!"

"I don't know! Squeeze your legs together?" He said hopelessly.

"Yeah sure! Great advise! I'm not giving birth inside our car."

"Well, it's a family car..."

"Not funny!"

"I'm sorry! I'm nervous! I don't want to deliver my own daughter!"

"You know what to do right? If...?" I asked him quietly.

"Kind off..."

"Sure?"

"Yes! If i have too, i'll know what to do." I let out a breath i didn't know I was holding.

"Don't push!"

"I'm not pushing! I'm still having pants on genius!" He seriously looked me in the eyes and took my hand.

"Er, do you need me to pull over?"

"No, I can manage five more minutes I think," I calmed down by his hand caressing mine.

"Okay, five more minutes, then i'll pull over if we're not there."

"Deal." I didn't know how, but Jay got us in front of the emergency entrance in four minutes.

"We made it! Hold on babe, our daughter is going to be born ín the bloody hospital!' Several doctors and nurses rushed out the doors and got us inside in a split second. Only five minutes later Jay could cut the cord and Hazel was placed on my chest.

We both looked from Hazel into each others eyes and started to cry and laugh at the same time.

"Squeeze my legs together, seriously?" I cry laughed.

"I'm sorry babe." He kissed me. "I love you! I'm so proud."

"I love you too!"

Jay held me a few more minutes, until another contraction ripped through me.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah, let's go." We got in the hospital in no time and got settled down in a private room.

"You want me to call Hank?"

"No, we'll call them when Brynn's here. Otherwise he'll take the kids here, and they won't sleep properly."

"Anything I can do?"

"Just hold my hand is enough." Or not... A few minutes later the most unsympathetic nurse ever walked in. She was convinced no woman should deliver without a epidural or other drugs.

"Mam, the doctor will be giving you an epidural in five minutes."

"I don't want it!"

"Sure honey, all the stubborn woman say that in the first hours, but all end up wanting one anyway. Most off them too late, so i'm not in the mood for rushing and running to get you one last minute. You'll get yours in five minutes, you can Thank me later."

"What the hell? You heard my wife, she does not want any type off drugs. It's in her goddamn charts!"

"Sir..."

"No sir! Leave us the hell alone! You are supposed to help and make this easy for her!"

"I'm making it easy for her by ordering the epidural allready!"

"I don't want an epidural!" I yelled. No drugs, that was my only condition at all my delivery's. Only when it had to get to the point of an emergency c-section. With my addictions in the past I don't want to risk anything. I don't want to be like my mother. Jay was sure nothing would happen, but supported my decision. No drugs, end of discussion, like it went the first two times.

"You can leave now on your own, or I'll carry you out," Jay said calmly while he let go of my hand and stood up.

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I asked you twice. I'm asking you one more time nicely to please leave my wife alone and respect her choice."

"I'm not threatened by you!" Seriously this woman was driving me bananas! Jay did not take it any longer and pushed her gently out of our room.

"What is happening here?" I heard doc McKinley speak.

"This nurse is making my wife upset, so I asked her multiple times to leave on her own."

"Megan, how in the world and why did you get Erin upset before she has to deliver!" I smiled a little, McKinley rocks!

"She is refusing an epidural, so I told her I ordered her one anyway, because almost everyone ends up getting it anyway!"

"Did you read the chart?"

"No, I was going to..." McKinley ignored the rest of her answer.

"If you had read the chart you knew the wishes of the patient to not have an epidural! You are off this case, ask Paige to take over." Jay came back in with a smirk on his face, and got back in his position next to me.

"Anything else babe?"

"Nope, i'm good." You would think by child number four it would be going a lot faster. Not! I slept a few hours and watched the sun come up while the contractions only came faster but didn't got me past eight centimeters of dilation for a long time.

"Ten centimeters Erin, you made it! You can slowly start to push now," McKinley told me another hour later. Thank god. A few more nurses came in who got me repositioned. Damn, the one who invented childbirth never got through it himself. Himself Yes, must be a man. A very sadistic one. I pushed for half an hour when McKinley finally announced to see her head.

"You can do it love." I still had his hand squashed into mine. Without making any sound I gave everything I had left. Let me meet my girl!

"One more Erin!" I did what they told me and felt her slide out of me. Cries filled the room and I opened my eyes to see my babygirl for the first time.

"There she is! Congratulations, another pretty girl!" McKinley said while placing Brynn on my chest. Just as beautiful as her big sister.

"Hi babygirl," Jay said while softly stroking her back. "You are so beautiful!" He kissed me emotional.

"You did so great Er. I love you so much!' Tears streamed down my face.

"I love you too! And I love you my Brynny," while kissing my littlest one on her head.

"What is her name?" McKinley asked. I looked at Jay, since I came up with her first name, he wanted to pick a second one, but kept it secret for me this whole time.

"Brynn. Brynn Erin Halstead, just as strong and beautiful as her Mommy." This man... I cried for a while untill they took Brynn for a check up, got the afterbirth out, cleaned me up and got me into another bed and room just before Jay came back with our girl proudly in his arms.

"Here you go Mommy," he said while passing her to me. "She is seven pounds and one ounce, nineteen inches long and healty as can be!"

"She is so small." I admire our little miracle. "She looks like Haze."

"She looks like you." We enjoy our girl in silence while I feed her.

"Can you call Hank? I think she's ready to meet her big brothers and big sister."

"I'm on it," he smiles. Half an hour later we hear them approach. Jay opens the door.

"Hi monkeys, are you ready to meet your sister?" I can see Hazel smile from ear to ear.

"Quiet daddy," Noah whisperes. "Library voices in the hospital!"

"Talking softly is okay. The baby is asleep."

"What is her name?' Liam asks.

"Mommy will tell you," he smiles while he lets them through. Hank hugs Jay, while my sweethearts stand next too my bed.

"Hi sweeties, this is your baby sister Brynn."

"She is so tiny," Liam whisperes in awe.

"Hi baby Brynn," Noah looks proudly. Hazel stands frustrated behind her brothers.

"I can't see," she says as soft as possible. Jay jumps in and lifts her on my bed.

"The're you go Haze." Her eyes sparkle. Finally she has her sister.

"Can I touch her?" She whisperes.

"Yes you can baby, just gently." Hazel softly strokes Brynn's hand.

"My doll is bigger," she states. We all laugh quietly.

"She will grow bigger than your doll kiddo," Jay says. Hank stares proud at his second granddaughter.

"You did great Erin, i'm so proud off you," he smiles. He comes closer and whisperes emotional.

"You know Camille is too right?" Every time he told me that, tears escaped from his eyes, this time no exeption.

"I know," I smile emotionally. "You want to hold her?" He smiles.

"Would love to, but I think it is Hazel's turn first." Everyone agreed. Hazel couldn't be more proud and took her task as big sister very seriously.

"I'm a big sister now, right Mommy?"

"Yes, you are bug." My baby girl is a big sister, and she is going to be the best big sister ever, I can feel it. Just like her big brothers are the best big brothers. And my husband is the best father. My family is the best ever, and no one can convince me otherwise at this moment.


End file.
